If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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