Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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