What did we do last night that was yellow?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
