i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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