now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
