he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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