Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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