I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
