Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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