I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
