you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
