u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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