omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
