he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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