drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
