theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
