I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
