The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
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Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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