why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
