I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
