I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
