we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
