Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
