please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
