Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
