i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This baby is an asshole
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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