Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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