Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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