am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
