in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
