No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
