ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
