Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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