He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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