he seriously made his penis a facebook.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
