I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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