he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
