whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
