He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A bitchslap is in order.
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