Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
