I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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