When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Shame - the story of my life.
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