you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
