forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
