Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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