How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
