The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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