i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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