Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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