mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When are your genitals available?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
