So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Success! We fucked roommates!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
