I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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