Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
