Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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