Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
