remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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