I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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