Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
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I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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