i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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