Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Randomize
