Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize