Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
