I hate your face
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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