He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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