dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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