Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
