she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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