i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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