I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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