Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
