Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
